When did we start celebrating tardiness? We wear it like a badge of honor; as if being overscheduled and in-demand is a sign of success. This is what I hear when my habitually late friends apologizes yet again for being more than 15 minutes late to lunch or dinner, ” so sorry I am late but I had something more important to do than be on time for you.”

And it Is interesting to see when we are tardy. We are punctual for job interviews but not for lunch with a dear friend. We are on time for the game so that we don’t miss kick off but we miss our child’s performance in their school recital. We are on time for standardized tests but late to Thanksgiving Dinner.

We can be on time when the penalty is in real time and may include an economic or social cost. But what about the costs to our loved ones and relationships? Have you considered the message you are sending when you are habitually late to important events? You may think the school play in silly but to your child, it is their big day to show off their talents – and you weren’t there.

Or Thanksgiving Dinner when Aunt Belle has been up since 5 AM preparing the turkey and trimmings. Lunch is set for Noon and you show up at 12:30 because you forgot to buy the cranberry sauce and had to go to the market across town. Everyone has been waiting and now the turkey is cold.

How about that time when you agreed to meet a girlfriend for shopping at 1 PM on a Sunday afternoon. She leaves to be there on time and you text her at 1:15 to say you are on your way…. And then when you get there, you are disappointed when she has to leave at 3 PM because she already had plans but rearranged them so that she could see you?

I know, I know. Things happen all the time. Sometimes there is traffic or the dog throws up as you are grabbing your keys, your toddler has a meltdown or you teenager chooses that moment to talk to you about a problem. Your friends will forgive you for those – its the perfect blue sky days when the kids are at camp and you are habitually 20 minutes late that really irritate your friends and makes them wonder if they are a priority for you.

When a boss is always late for meetings, it is seen as a power play. When an employee is always late for meetings, it is seen as ineptitude. When a friend is always late, it is felt as nonchalance. When a parent is always late, it is felt as uncaring. All of these are rooted in respect – for the individual and their time.