It’s that time of year – we are nearing the end of January and some of our New Year’s Resolutions have fallen by the wayside. This has led some researchers to conclude that this is the most depressing time of year; the temperatures have dropped and we haven’t kept our resolutions.

I don’t make resolutions and I do not suggest my clients do so because resolution implies “re-solving” a problem. My clients are not broken, they do not need to be fixed. There is nothing to resolve. I do encourage clients and friends to set goals.

Goals must be specific and timely. Specific means the goal must have a finite and tangible outcome. A desire to be healthy is not a goal – it is a hope or wish. It is blue-sky and birds singing joyously. It is dancing forest animals and warm ocean breezes.  It is a nice fantasy. The goal to lose 10 pounds in two months by eating smaller portions of carbohydrates and adding two servings of fruit a day is a goal – time bound and specific.

I love it when a plan comes together and I love helping my clients formulate a plan for success. As the example above shows, getting healthy is a lofty desire and losing ten pounds in four months is a goal that is specific and time-bound.

Making a plan can be tough. I suggest that to develop a plan for success, you need to set the stage for planning. I suggest my clients set aside 30 minutes a day and have the following tools on hand:

• notepad or notebook
• yearly overview calendar
• timer

When you have the stage set, write down your first thought of your goal, In our example, Get Healthy. After that, ask yourself these questions:

• What does this mean for me?
• How will I feel if I accomplish this goal?
• What do I have to change to attain this goal?
• Can this goal be more specific?
• What is the alternative?
• How will I feel if I cannot achieve this goal in the time I have allotted for myself?

As you answer these questions, you may develop new goals or refine the original. I suggest going through at least three iterations of these questions and refining the goals. Using our original goal of getting healthy, here is how the questions maybe answered.

GOAL: Get Healthy

• What does this mean for me? Losing weight
• How will I feel if I accomplish this goal? Better about myself
• What do I have to change to attain this goal? Eat better
• Can this goal be more specific? Specific amount of weight?
• What is the alternative? Continue on as I have been
• How will I feel if I cannot achieve this goal in the time I have allotted for myself? Depends -did I lose weight?

Refined Goal: Lose 10 pounds

• What does this mean for me? Feeling more comfortable in my clothes
• How will I feel if I accomplish this goal? Proud
• What do I have to change to attain this goal? Eat less snack food
• Can this goal be more specific? What is a realistic time-frame for losing this weight?
• What is the alternative? I do nothing
• How will I feel if I cannot achieve this goal in the time I have allotted for myself? Frustrated

Do not spend more than three sessions refining your goals. You may get caught in the Paralysis of Analysis; you spend so much time analyzing that you fail to act. Once you have a realistic and time-bound goal, we will make a plan.

To be continued….